Accidents Happen
by Annienew26
Summary: Jane's life is trouble-prone in more ways than one. A collection of incidents from Jane's life as shown in the episodes as well as some new ones and how he might deal with them.
1. A Day to Remember

_**Notes:**_

 _ **This is my first fanfic, so please be kind! The situations mentioned in this fic are of course fictional. There are some situations that I have borrowed from own life.**_

 _ **The story will be written from the POV of Jane and Lisbon mostly.  
**_

 **Chapter 1: A Day to Remember**

It is the last week of work before the Christmas break and Jane looks so exhausted; Lisbon thought to herself. Sure, he always looked like he was ready for a nap but this year the strain was so evident on his face and she didn't know why.

( _ **flashback to September - doctor's office)**_

 _ **Doctor Mark Anderson's office**_

 _ **Specialty - Spinal Injuries (Orthopedics)**_

"Mr Jane, please take a seat, Doctor Anderson will be with you shortly." The polite assistant showed me into the doctor's office where I waited with a patient look on my face but with a storm brewing inside. The assistant looked at me and gave me a small smile in a feeble attempt to ease my obvious discomfort, and it looks like she might have succeeded. I smiled back genuinely.

Although doctors and hospitals are not on my friend list, I've come to like my current one - Dr. Mark Anderson. After my attempt at self-sabotage by crashing the car in a tree, my neck has been off. Sure, the neck brace helped for a few days, but it became more of a hindrance rather than aid me in my recovery. This led me to ditch the brace way earlier than recommended leaving me in considerable pain ever since.

Just then the door opens and I see the doctor walking towards me. This brings me out of my self-deprecating thoughts. Mark smiled as I shook his hand and he led me to his desk. "How have you been Patrick?"

"I've been better doc. It's a big day today."

"Yes, your reports must be ready, give me a minute", with this Mark calls his assistant to get my reports. A knock on the door, and the reports are handed over. He then puts up the films against the tube light lit surface to examine them. He correlates the written report with the actual films and his face turns serious.

"What is it?", I ask almost immediately noticing the change on his face. I was hoping it wouldn't be something serious, but who was I kidding? I had outdone myself with that car crash. My flexible neck was finally retiring; I almost laughed at that thought.

"You see this here?", he asks me pointing towards my MRI films. "This part here that you see is the fracture in your cervical spine (neck). You've essentially fractured your neck between these three vertebrae - C3 to C5 and that's the root cause of your pain. The tingling in your shoulder and hands is because your nerves are getting compressed and the building pressure is causing all your symptoms. I believe it is because of the car accident that you had a few months ago."

I think I looked shocked and I feel a little lightheaded. The sudden headache causes me to wince in pain and I instinctively grab my head in my hands. Looking downwards I momentarily close my eyes as a sudden wave of dizziness sweeps over me. "Hey, you okay?", Mark almost jumps out of his seat. I take a deep breath and nod and then I try standing up much to his bewilderment.

The next thing I know, my world goes black...

About 30 minutes later I open my eyes and I slowly try to take in the new surroundings. The constant beeping and the feeling of something stuck in my arm reminds me that I am still in the hospital, but why am I in a bed attached to these things is beyond my comprehension. My head hurts and I let out a groan. I guess something must have changed, which brings in an elderly looking nurse to my room.

"Mr. Jane! Good to see you awake. Stay right here, doctor Anderson will be here shortly to check on you." With this she moves towards the monitor to note down the readings. It's funny at times how medical professionals treat you. You are lying hooked up in your bed to all sorts of monitors and they say to the patient - stay right here! Yeah right! As if I am going to go for a walk! I simply close my eyes and wonder why I even woke up in the first place.


	2. In the hospital

**_Notes:_**

 ** _Thank you to everyone who took out time to review my story and to follow it. I am grateful :)  
_**

 ** _The medical situations in the story may not be close to accuracy, but I'll try to make this an interesting read!_**

 ** _Hope you enjoy this chapter! :)_**

 **Chapter 2: In the hospital**

I hear the door opening, but I feign sleep. I don't feel like facing the world right now, but beggars can't be choosers. "Patrick, you awake?" I hear my doctor's voice and a sudden feeling of dread creeps over me - he's going to talk to me about my neck! I slowly open my eyes and find him standing at the foot of my bed with some charts in his hand.

"Hi doc."

"Hello Patrick, how are you feeling now?"

"Oh, I feel as good as new, ready to get out of here actually."

The doctor notices my grin and smiles. "Well that's for me to decide, isn't it?" I simply sigh knowing that there's no way out of this, so I put on my best behaviour for him.

"Do you remember what happened to you?"

I nod, immediately regretting the decision as the slight movement increases the headache. This doesn't go unnoticed by the doctor as he adjusts my bed to a more comfortable position. The change in the posture is already making me feel better. He hands me a glass of water and waits till I settle down.

"I feel better now. I remember you telling me about the fracture in my neck. How bad is it and why are all these symptoms coming up now – months later after the accident?"

" Mr. Jane..."

Uh oh, the doctor's getting serious now – he's come down to using my last name. This is never a good sign. Mark has my complete attention now.

"After your accident you might remember you were given a neck brace to wear."

"Uh huh"

"Which I believe you didn't wear for the time period that was suggested, am I right?"

Guilt washes over my face and I feel like a kid whose parents have found him eating a tub full of ice-cream way past midnight. I meekly agree with him.

"Let's take a look here", the doctor has pulled out two sets of films of my neck. Pointing towards the first set of films he says, "These were taken right after the accident and these were taken a week ago."

"Okaaaay. What am I looking at?" I suddenly feel dumb looking at my films.

"The x-ray taken initially had a hairline fracture, which means your vertebrae had a small crack running through them and now what you see in your latest CT scan is a deepening of the crack."

"How did this happen?" I ask him worriedly.

"Someone hasn't been a good patient…", the doctor smirks at me. "The neck brace is given for a reason. It helps in stabilizing the injury sustained and prevents further damage. How long were you told to wear this?"

"Well, the ER doctor had mentioned about 6 – 7 weeks, but I hardly wore it for 4 weeks." My face drops as I say this.

"Ah, there you go! You've answered the question yourself." Softening his tone Mark says, "I understand why you might you have stopped wearing the brace. Many patients feel better around 4 weeks of wearing it, so some forgo the remaining time of wearing it. This usually leads to further complications in most cases."

"Further complications like what?"

"Like the ones you have begun experiencing – increased pain in a larger area of your neck and pain or tingling in your neck and hands. Further, you may also start experiencing numbness in these areas, difficulty grasping objects and performing routine actions, dizziness, blurring of vision, nausea and difficulty breathing."

The last one takes me by surprise. "Difficulty in breathing? How come?"

"Well, as you know the central nervous system regulates almost all of our body functions. When there's an injury to it, complications such as these might occur if proper care is not taken.

It takes a few minutes for all this to sink in. The reality hits me, I've abused my body and if I neglect it, I will never be able to catch Red John and make him pay for what he's done. With this renewed focus in mind, I ask Mark, "What are my options?"

"There's only one option - surgery. Unfortunately, the deepening of the fracture will worsen with time and it will start hindering your life in a major way. To prevent this from happening, surgery is the only option."

"What kind of surgery are we talking about Mark?"

He sees the nervousness on my face and says,"I will discuss that in detail with you once you are discharged from here. I want you to rest for now and not worry about the surgery. I know you are worried, but worry will only make things more complicated for you. For now, I am admitting you for 24 hours as you've had a period of unconsciousness. We will re-asses your condition tomorrow."

"But I have to go work tomorrow, there's an important case I am working on." I almost whine as the doctor looks on.

"So you are saying, the case is more important than your health?"

"No, I didn't mean it that way, it's just that it's too short a notice to give at work for my absence tomorrow. Nobody knows I am here."

"Am sure you will figure out a way to deal with this Patrick." The doctor smiles kindly and walks out of the room, leaving me with a thousand questions and thoughts in my mind.


	3. Night at the hospital

_**Notes:**_

 _ **I thought this was going to be a short chapter, but I have surprised myself!**_

 _ **Thank you for the sweet reviews everyone!**_ _ **J**_ _ **It means a lot!**_

 _ **missdonnie – Hey, I am sure it's nothing. Don't worry, everything will be fine. I am praying for you. Let me know what happens. ((Hugs))**_

 _ **Tanzana – thanks for being the first follower!**_ _ **J**_ __

 _ **Enjoy the chapter!**_

 **Chapter 3: Night at the hospital**

After the doctor has left my room, I suddenly feel drained out. I sink into the bed feeling dejected about having to stay for the night and with the sincere hope that I don't have to lie tomorrow to Lisbon.

I'm now aware of the headache beginning to build at the base of my neck. It's just a mild pain, but I can feel it gently throbbing through the nerves of my neck. It's almost as if it's in sync with my heartbeat. Closing my eyes I focus on my breaths. Deep, slow and focussed breaths… _in and out...in and out…in and out…_

With all these years of 'helping people' there's one thing I've learnt for sure – no one wants to be in pain; neither physical nor emotional. It all comes down to how effectively you use your breaths. We take it for granted and that's where we lose our battles…

My attention is still solely on my breathing, making sure I don't hyperventilate. Breathing in through my nose and exhaling through my pursed lips, the effects are beginning to show and I find myself slowly relaxing into a deep slumber….

Suddenly it's very quiet. I can't even hear the sound of my breathing. This is weird. The only sound I hear sends chills down my spine…. "Hello Patrick..." It's too dark in the room and I can barely see anything, but I hear heavy footsteps coming towards me. I still can't see anyone, but I can see the razor sharp blade of a knife shining in the faint night light of the room. It's dripping with blood. Instinctively my hand reaches the back of my neck and my fingers come away from it covered in blood - my blood.

I am shaking now, in pain and fear. This was not supposed to happen. Hospitals are secure places, aren't they? I find it difficult to breathe, I am choking.

"Help…please help. No, stop! He is going to kill me….Lisbonnnnnnnnn!"

I am still shaking and I feel like I am drowning, but then I hear voices. I hear a lady's voice. Lisbon's here. Thank God! Except, her voice sounds different.

"Mr. Jane, it's okay. Wake up…wake up…you are safe. Open your eyes come on."

I feel someone gently calling my name….it's not Lisbon. I try hard and finally succeed in opening my eyes a little. As the room begins to come into focus I realize I am wet and cold and I am not able to breathe well. It's almost as if I am sucking in the last ounce of oxygen available in the room. The alarms on the monitors are still trilling in the room and I am still too dazed to be able to really comprehend much.

I think I faintly hear Dr. Anderson's voice barking orders in the background. I feel the position of my bed being changed and my nasal cannula being replaced by a full oxygen mask. Tears are streaming down my eyes and I am drenched in sweat.

"Breathe Patrick, just breathe. You are safe. It was just a nightmare." I see a hazy figure of a person standing beside my bed who's talking to me in a very soothing voice. From the other side of the bed I feel something cool all over my face. I manage to open my eyes now.

"Welcome back Patrick." The doctor gives me a smile and gives my hand a slight squeeze. "Stacy here will help you get comfortable, I will be right back."

I give Mark a small nod. Stacy is still busy attending to me. The cool cloth feels like heaven on my flushed skin. My breathing has slowed down but there's still some heaviness I feel. From underneath the mask I try talking to the nurse.

"Please don't try to talk Mr. Jane. Doctor Anderson will be with you shortly. Just relax", she says in her most soothing voice.

"Thank you." I say in between my hitched breaths and some stray tears manage to slip from my eyes.

She rubs my shoulder comfortingly as you'd comfort a child and wipes my face once more. She has helped me get changed into a fresh new hospital gown and is now busy checking the readings on the monitors.

"I need some water please." I say in a faint and croaky voice from underneath the mask.

"Yes of course." With this she places the chart in her hand on the table and pours some water for me in a small paper cup. Handing over a straw to me she says, "Sip slowly."

Her piece of advice suddenly makes sense as I start coughing with the first few sips of the water. She quickly takes away the paper cup to avoid any further spillage and gently rubs my back. "Easy there…told you to go slowly." I just roll my eyes at her and she simply smirks!

A few minutes later, Mark comes in. "So, how are we doing now?" Stacy hands over her charts to Dr. Anderson and gives him a verbal report too. He nods and motions for her to leave.

"Everything's almost back within the normal limits Patrick. How are you feeling?"

I pull down the mask and tell him effortlessly that I am doing fine and that I feel alright. Satisfied with the way my voice sounds and one look at the monitors back again, Mark looks convinced and says, "Hmm, okay."

"Would you like to share about what happened here some time ago? I shake my head dismissively and look away from him.

"You were calling out for someone called Lisbon. Who is he/she?"

"She's my work partner, actually my boss but more like a partner."

"I see. Well, I can't force you to share any details of the incident if you don't want, but I suggest you talk to someone, or Lisbon about it."

The doctor has no knowledge about my past and I am not sure if I want to go on a painful memory trip just as yet, so I fake nod my approval.

It's almost 8:00 a.m. and I am itching to leave the hospital as soon as possible. I hope this little incident doesn't prove to be a setback towards my release from the hospital today.

Mark finds me lost in my thoughts and brings me back to reality. He senses boredom and impatience in me and says, "So how about getting you discharged today?"

My eyes gleam with happiness and my face breaks out in a genuine smile. "I am ready to leave Dr. Anderson!"

"Hmm. It will take about an hour or two before your papers are ready for your discharge. After you have your breakfast, someone will come in to assist you with the discharge process, but I am discharging you on only condition."

"What's that?" I ask nervously.

"You will stay at home today. No work. I want you to rest through the weekend and only if you are feeling up to it, you may resume work on Monday. I trust you to listen to your body."

"Yes doc. I understand."

"Take it easy for a week – that means no strenuous activity and taking enough rest. Come back and meet me next Monday. I will discuss your options for the surgery with you."

"I understand what you've told me doc. I will be back next week for the follow up. Thank you again."

With this the doctor leaves my room and I am filled with enthusiasm at the thought of getting to go home…


	4. Home Sweet Home

_**Notes:**_

 _ **Thank you so much everyone! I am happy to know that you guys like this story. Just trying to make it an interesting read with lots of drama! Please keep reviewing – I am so grateful to all of you!**_

 **Chapter 4: Home sweet home**

I am discharged from the hospital sooner than I expected.

Driving through the rush hour traffic is proving exasperating for me. I didn't realize this, but after spending a slightly traumatic night at the hospital, I am feeling a bit over the edge, a little claustrophobic as I sit in my car which is stuck in the morning traffic.

I can't wait to get back to the motel I call home, but then the thought of lying to Lisbon makes me sad. I wouldn't want her to worry about me, but I guess I could use some company today….

In spite of the traffic, I manage to reach the motel before 9:00, but the trip back from the hospital has exhausted me for some reason. Wearily climbing the staircase I reach my room and momentarily fumble with the keys in my hand before I finally enter 'my home'.

All my energy has been drained out, so instead of heading towards the shower, I take off my shoes and socks, vest and shirt and then crawl into the bed and under the blanket. Soon I am fast asleep.

(A couple of hours later…)

Something's buzzing near my ear and vibrating as well. It can't be a bee, nor can it be an earthquake – my foggy mind reasons with me. The sounds stop for a moment only to begin again a few seconds later. I am forced to open my eyes and I am greeted with the sight of my phone demanding my attention. By the time I get to it the caller has hung up. So much for disturbing a poor man's nap!

Anyway it's time to wake up – my rumbling tummy reminds me. I pick up the phone and the notifications happily announce that I have missed a total of 15 calls. On closer inspection I find the breakdown of those calls - 9 from Lisbon, 2 from Cho, 3 from Grace and 1 from Rigsby. Oh crap! It's almost noon! If I don't come up with a plan immediately the cavalry will be here soon.

It's time to call Lisbon - time to lie. I hit number 1 on the speed dial list and wait for her to answer the phone. It will be a miracle if she doesn't yell at me first and then say hello.

"Jane! Where the hell are you? Have you forgotten that you work at the CBI? Should I send a limo to pick you up? Huh?" She says all this in one breath and it amuses me! Her onslaught of questions actually gives me time to think about what I am going to say to her.

"Lisbon…I…."

"Yes, Jane? Do you have any brilliant reason for not gracing us with your presence today?"

As I get ready to lie to her I can imagine her as an angry little princess with red steam blowing out of both her ears! My angry little princess…

"Lisbon, can you at least hear me out? I am sorry that I slept through all of your phone calls. Won't happen again – promise."

"You were sleeping?" She almost barks in my ear. "Have you heard of anything called as an alarm clock Jane? You knew we had a meeting today and we needed your inputs. But you conveniently decide to sleep instead!"

Oh boy….she is quite angry today. I just thank my stars that I am nowhere near her right now, because I am sure she would have had thoughts of shooting me or sending me to the lockup!

"I didn't sleep well last night Lisbon. I had a nightmare." I almost whisper this and feel proud that I haven't really lied to her. The nightmare part was true, wasn't it? I try to reason out with myself.

Her voice immediately softens, "Jane, hey, you okay? I am so sorry. I should have known. I feel stupid for doubting you. I should've realised this sooner." Again all of this in one breath. This lady just loves to talk, doesn't she? I smirk at that thought.

"It's okay. I am fine, just a headache for now. I will be okay after I get some sleep. Don't worry about it."

"Yes, you should go back to bed. Have you eaten anything? Have you taken anything for your headache?

"Yes mom! I have eaten; have taken something for the headache and now I think I'm ready to sleep."

"I will come by during lunch time if I can to see how you are doing."

I realize I am not ready to face her yet, so I quickly remind her that it wouldn't be of any use if she came by then, as I would probably be sleeping. She sighs and understands but not before promising me that she will come by after work with some soup and dinner. I agree and hang up with a happy smile on my face, knowing that there's enough time to pull myself together before my angry little princess comes to pay me a visit….

(A few hours later)

Some food and pain medication did their job remarkably well and put me out of my distress at least for some time. I wake up around 4pm feeling refreshed and head towards the shower to let it cleanse me. The hot water does wonders for my aching muscles and soothes me. I step out of the shower after about 20 minutes feeling like a new man. I get dressed and take one last look in the mirror before Lisbon arrives. I look fine; no traces of pain or stress are evident. "Good job Jane", I mutter to myself. She arrives about 15 minutes later and gives me her trademark dazzling smile. It has made my day.

"Feeling better Jane?" She asks while sipping the tea I have prepared for us.

"Meh, I'm fine Lisbon. It's amazing how a little nap can do wonders for your body." She just rolls her eyes at that.

"Do you want to tell me what happened last night?"

"Do I ever?"

She sighs and knows that she has reached a dead end. Sensing the change in her mood I quickly ask her, "So what did I miss today?"

Before she can begin telling me anything, a gunshot rings out through the window of my motel room.

"What the hell?" We both exclaim as we duck for cover. Lisbon has now taken out her gun from her holster and is slowly making her way towards the window. Another shot rings out and she ducks again.

She dials Cho while keeping an eye on the window. "Cho, this is Lisbon. I am at Jane's motel and we need backup. Please, hurry."

"On it boss, what's wrong?"

"Someone has shot through Jane's window and might be trying to get in. I don't know how many armed people are out there, but get here quickly."

"I am coming right over."

The shots seem to have stopped coming for now but I am scared. I realize I am shaking a little. Lisbon is still crouched near the window.

"Jane, you okay back there?"

(No answer and neither can she see me)

"Hey Jane? Answer me."

In a slightly trembling voice I reply, "Yes, yes I am here, just peachy."

She slowly makes her way back to where I am and finds me in a huddled position with my head between my knees. She senses the slight tremors that are wracking my body and gently places her hand on my back.

"Hey, it's okay. See, nobody's shooting anymore. I probably scared them off." She says this with a slight hint of sarcasm.

I have still not looked at her, but she is being patient. She then realizes a soft sound coming from me, as if I am sniffling.

She seems a little alarmed. "Hey Jane, could you look at me please?" She gently encourages me to lift up my head and look at her. What she sees stops her dead in her tracks. She sees blood dripping down the side of my neck.

"Jane! Oh my god! You're hurt!" I see a slight panic in Lisbon's eyes but the professional that she is, she quickly recovers and looks around the room to look for a cloth to hold it against my neck in order to slower the blood flow. My trembling hand points towards my pant pocket and she realizes what it means. She quickly fishes out my handkerchief and presses it firmly against the wound. The pressure on the wound causes me to scream in pain and a lone teardrop slides down my cheek.

She wipes her blood stained hand on her dress and stops the teardrop from going any further from cheek. She cups my cheek in her hand and talks to me soothingly. Just then her phone rings. It's Cho.

"Boss, we are here. Where are you?"

"Cho, have Rigsby and Van Pelt reached too?"

"Yes boss."

"We are in room 23, Jane has been shot and we need EMT's in here ASAP. Secure the perimeter. I don't want anyone entering or leaving the motel till we find out about this shooting."

"Got it boss. Sending the EMT's now."

"Hear that Jane? The EMT's are here. You are going to be fine." She flashes her smile reserved for such occasions. Through my pain-filled daze, watery eyes and shallow breaths I try comprehending what she has just told me.

My breaths are getting shallower but I know I need to stay awake. I am trying so hard Lisbon, but I can't keep up. "It hurts", I manage to whisper to her.

"I know, I know." Her voice cracks, and her eyes threaten to overflow, but she's holding it together for my sake, for our sake. My eyes start to droop; the world around me is getting darker and darker.

"No, no, don't sleep. C'mon, just hold on. The EMT's are here." She realises she's losing the battle to keep me awake. My eyes shut for a moment and she panics. With the pressure still on the wound she tries to get me to open to eyes by lightly slapping my cheek. She's greeted with the sounds of wet and raspy breaths. She tries again, and this time I manage to open my eyes. I know my time is running is out so I decide to say what I need to say. It's now or never.

"Lisbon…." I pause to catch my breath. She tries to shush me but once I've decided to do something I do it.

I have held her hand tightly…"I'm sorry….for…..everything."

Just then the EMT's burst in and she sees my body going slack….

* * *

 _ **On a side note, any Guardian / Nick Fallin fans here? I would like to write some stories for the show if there are fans here!**_


	5. The Rescue

_**Notes:**_

 _ **Thank you everyone for your encouraging reviews! I was quite surprised to see that some of you thought I was going to end the story in a cliffhanger! I wouldn't do that as I write the story from the reader's POV, not the writer's POV! :)**_

 _ **This story will not be following the exact timeline of the show, so some situations and characters shown in the show might appear at different places in the story. After all this is fiction!**_

 _ **This chapter contains some medical stuff and a lot of angst. Although I haven't gone into too many technical details regarding the medical stuff written here, I've tried to make it authentic. It may not be a hundred per cent close to reality, but I have done my research regarding the situation mentioned here. If there are any medical professionals reading this, kindly excuse any loopholes that might be present in the story and just enjoy reading!**_

 **Chapter 5: The Rescue**

Jane lost his battle at staying conscious right before the EMT's swarmed in. My hand is still on his neck attempting to stem his precious blood from flowing out, but it doesn't seem to be working enough. I give the medical personnel an initial description of the injury. Then, very gently yet firmly they move me aside so that they can help him.

Somehow this slight change in position seems to awaken him, but he's not doing okay. He's having a lot of difficulty breathing and the sounds coming from inside of him are scary to my ears. The EMT announces to his partner that there are diminished breath sounds coming from Jane's lungs and that his trachea is most likely injured. Intubation is not an option according to them, so they perform a cricothyrotomy(an emergency medical procedure to obtain an airway).

The procedure is done efficiently and an oxygen mask is placed over his face, dressings are applied over his wounds, an IV is attached and they get ready to transport him. His eyes are still closed and he looks almost peaceful, except for his blood-stained clothes and his pale face in contrast to his bright red blood.

Tears cloud my vision as I see my best friend struggling for his life. Whoever did this to him is going to have to pay a huge price. As I head out of the room with the EMT techs, I see Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt moving towards us. They take a look at us and they realize the gravity of the situation.

"What's the situation here Cho?" I ask him throwing a quick glance at the two police officers on the scene.

"Boss, when I asked dispatch to send an ambulance I asked for backup too, just in case."

"Good thinking. Any leads?"

"Not yet. By the time we got here there was no sign of anyone that might have been trying to get away. Grounds are clear. We're going to start reviewing the CCTV footage and start interviewing the guests as well as the staff."

"That's good because I don't want that bastard to get away. We are going to do whatever it takes to get this person in custody."

"Yes boss." Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt nod solemnly.

"Okay, I am going to the hospital with Jane. You guys keep me posted. I'll be in touch."

With this I literally run towards the ambulance and we speed off towards the UC Davis Medical Center. The EMT attending to Jane is closely monitoring him for his vital signs. The tech relays the medical information to the hospital and then starts bagging Jane's personal effects. His watch, wedding band, belt, shoes and socks are all quickly dumped in the small plastic bag and it's handed over to me. My hands are shaking as I hold the bag in my hands. I've never done this before, but this feels incredibly personal to me. I clutch the bag tightly in my hand while holding Jane's hand with my other. "Hang in there Jane….it's going to be okay." I almost whisper it in his ear as a reassurance that we are fighting for him. I am trying to reassure myself too.

We are at the medical center and before I know it Jane is being wheeled out of the ambulance into the trauma bay. Medical attendants are awaiting him there. The team gets to work quickly. Curtains are drawn and there's a flurry of activity - sounds of his blood-stained clothes being cut open with scissors, someone hooking him up to the various monitors, someone announcing his BP is dropping, orders for upping the pressure through another IV and then I hear the word – "Go."

It all happens so fast and there's no one I can talk to, so I just stand there, tears streaming down my eyes. A nurse comes out and asks if I'm his family. I tell her I am his partner at work and I hold his medical power of attorney. She nods and hands me over some forms to fill. Before I can do that I ask her where they have taken him. She looks at my tear-streaked face and gives me a sympathetic smile and leads me to the row of chairs just outside the trauma bay.

"I am sorry about your friend. They have taken him for a CT scan to find out the extent of his injuries. He will then be taken in for surgery. After you finish filling out the forms, someone will direct you to the surgical floor where you can wait comfortably."

I nod and thank her. This bureaucratic task of filling out the forms is testing my patience, but there's no way around it, so I do the needful as fast as I can and hand them over to the admin desk. The staff here is excellent, before I can even ask for the directions to the surgical floor, a nurse guides me towards the elevators and tells me the floor I need to get off on, the OR number and the name of doctor operating on Jane. I give her a hug, thank her and then disappear in the elevator.

The doors ding open on the 6th floor of the hospital. It's quieter over here. I make my way towards the waiting area. It's almost 6:20 pm and I see that there are some more people seated in the lounge waiting for an outcome about their loved ones. I wearily sit down on the chair and close my eyes for a few moments. The events of the evening flash before my eyes and I quickly open them not wanting a recap of those moments.

As I am taking out my phone from my pocket, a nurse comes out in the waiting area and asks, "Family of Patrick Jane?"

"That's me."

She takes a look at the information on the iPad in her hand and asks if I am Teresa. As I acknowledge, she tells me he has been taken into surgery about 10 minutes ago. The surgery could take about 4 hours and that she would come to give me an update every 1.5 hours. She also shows me the monitors in the room displaying the status of the patient. She's told me Jane's patient number so that I can keep a tab on his operative status myself. I thank her and make my way to the washroom.

When I enter the washroom, I find myself alone. It's a huge relief. The past few hours have been scary and crazy. I take a look at myself in the mirror. My red eyes and flushed cheeks have their own story to tell while my jacket is stained in blood - my partner's blood. I take it off and hold it under the tap water in an attempt to get the blood off it, but then I suddenly stop. My hands are trembling. I realize, if he doesn't make it, this is the last memory I will have of him – he, bleeding to death in my arms. My tears show no signs of stopping now and I protectively clutch my jacket.

I hear the door opening and I barely register the person who has entered the washroom. I guess I must have looked worse than I had thought, because the next thing I realize is someone calling my name in panic.

"Oh my God - boss!" Grace almost shrieks as she finds me sitting on the floor in a very awkward position. Her first thought must have been that I must have fallen to the floor and hit myself somewhere. She tries rousing me and I open my eyes, much to her relief.

"Are you okay? Can you stand up?" I am confused. Why is she here and what am I doing on the floor of a washroom? Suddenly it all comes back…."Jane!"

"Boss, we are at UC Davis. Jane is in surgery. C'mon let's get you off this floor." She gently helps me up. I don't seem to be hurt anywhere; she seems to be relieved. I look at myself in the mirror before me and I see someone else staring back at me – not Teresa Lisbon. Grace throws a worried look in my direction but doesn't say anything. It takes me a few moments, but after washing my face with the cool water I begin feeling like myself again – in charge of the present situation and ready to face the world – again.


	6. The Wait

_**Notes:**_

 _ **Thank you everyone for your encouraging reviews and for following my story! Apologies for the delay in the update – I was a bit unwell. Better now!**_

 _ **This chapter contains a lot of waiting around! If you've been to a hospital and have waited to know more about someone's condition, maybe this chapter will hit home. Waiting for any kind of news is the hardest part. This chapter explores just that.**_

 _ **Kindly review!**_

 **Chapter 6: The Wait**

As I walk out of the washroom with Van Pelt, there are so many thoughts hitting at me once – how is the surgery proceeding? , who shot at Jane and why? , what about Jane's safety?

I have to have a plan. Cho and Rigsby are sitting in the waiting lounge drinking their coffee. They stand up as they see us walking towards them – their faces showing worry and anticipation.

"You okay boss?"

"Yes, I'm fine Cho. What have we got? Any leads yet?"

"We might have one, two in fact." My heart beats a little faster on hearing this information.

I throw a glance around the waiting lounge to find us a slightly private area to sit down and talk about this. There's no need to attract attention towards ourselves yet. I find a cozy spot and we head over there with coffee cups in our hands. As we take a seat I feel relieved to find the patient status monitors directly in my line of sight.

Before we can start discussing the details, I take a quick look at those monitors on the wall to find out the status of the surgery. The information displayed on those monitors almost makes me feel like I am at an airport, except, I am not. I find what I am looking for –

Patient No: 14

OR No: 3

Operating Status : In – progress

It's soon going to be almost an hour and a half since the surgery began and even though I have seen the information electronically, I want to know it from a real person and I hope that I can ask for more details. A few moments later, the nurse who had met me in the lounge comes looking for me. As I see her approach, I realize I am a bit tensed. As I stand up, the others stand up too. I am sure they are equally anxious to know about Jane's condition. The nurse senses our apprehension and gives us a courteous smile.

"Good evening. I am Sandra Rogers. Sorry that I didn't introduce myself before. I am here with the first update with regards to Mr. Jane's surgery. It began at 6:30 pm and he is still in surgery. His doctor – Dr. Sean Evans will speak with you after the surgery."

"How much longer will the surgery take?"

"As mentioned before, it could take about 4 hours, so it could be over by 10:30, but it depends as the surgery progresses. Try not to worry. Mr. Jane is in good hands." She gives my shoulder a slight squeeze in an attempt to show her support.

"Thank you so much for the update Sandra. Just a quick piece of information for you – these are my colleagues – Rigsby, Cho and Van Pelt. One of us will always be here in the waiting room, so just in case I am not around, please don't hesitate to pass on the updates to them."

"Sure, that won't be a problem at all." With this, nurse Sandra heads back to the OR.

We all sit down and I hope that this nightmare comes to an end soon. Jane is our consultant; he doesn't even carry a weapon. It's just not fair that he got shot. I wasn't able to protect him. The guilt is now eating me up from within – and suddenly my vision turns blurry due to excessive water.

Van Pelt is right next to me and quickly puts her arm around me in an attempt to comfort me, but I am in such a state of distress that her touch isn't helping me calm down.

My tears are showing no signs of stopping. Cho and Rigsby looked shocked while Van Pelt has tears streaming down her face too. In between my sobs my deepest emotions for my consultant come out.

"He wasn't doing anything wrong today and he was sick. I doubted him today morning. How could I? He just needed a little help and company, but I just screwed up!"

Looking at the faces of my team members I add, "You know what's the last thing he said to me? He said he's sorry for everything. That idiot apologized for no fault of his! The fault is mine. I couldn't protect him, couldn't save him and now he's in there and I don't know what to do. He can't die, he just can't." My sobs continue…

Rigsby is the first one to speak up. "It's not your fault boss. Please don't even think about it. How could you have known this was going to happen? None of us had any inkling about this."

"It's true." Cho adds to what Rigsby has just said. "Besides we might have two possible suspects and we have released a BOLO too. Hightower approved it."

"Hightower knows?

"Yes boss, we knew time was of essence, so we directly went to her once we had some bits of information."

"Thank you guys. Did she say anything about this?"

"Yes, she has asked us to keep updating her about Jane's condition as well as the progress on finding the shooters" says Cho.

"Right Cho, so you were going to tell me about the possible suspects?"

"Yes boss. We have two people by the names of – Pete Sanchez and Luke Terence. Jane had solved a case about 3 years ago and they had been sentenced to life without parole, but as of yesterday both of them have somehow escaped prison.

"How did that happen?"

"We don't know yet, but we are going to start looking into all possible aspects of this case. Rigsby and I will leave for the High Desert State Prison tomorrow to investigate this further. The local PD is on high alert and will be extending its full support to the CBI with regards to this. Van Pelt will be scrutinizing the CCTV footage from the day of the incident as well as a day or two prior to it."

"Yes boss, I will also be going through the case files. As of now we know that this pair has been responsible for the deaths of almost 14 women in California." adds Van Pelt.

I simply nod wearily as I feel my strength ebbing away and say nothing further. It's almost 9:30 pm and when I look at the patient monitor hopefully, it greets me with the same status: In – Progress.

Waiting is frustrating. I send up a silent prayer for Jane and will him to keep fighting. I figure that the next verbal update isn't due until 10:00 pm so this would be a good time to eat something. My stomach is rumbling and I'm actually feeling a bit dizzy. I order my team to grab some dinner while I wait here. They protest but relent when I assure them I'll grab something from the vending machine in the lounge. In reality, I just wanted to be left alone. Bringing the perpetrators to justice is my priority, but my mind simply can't take it anymore. I need to know that Jane has pulled through and I need to know he is going to be alright; else I won't be able to forgive myself.

Walking towards the vending machine I realize how much I miss Jane in this moment. Jane and food are like best friends – the man loves to eat; both – food and my brain. I chuckle internally as I grab a sandwich and a bottle of water from the machine. I eat it with great difficulty as I remember all the times Jane has shared his food with me…tears almost threaten to spill once again.

By the time I have finished eating and stretching my muscles a bit, I see my team heading towards me. I had hoped for some more time alone, but I am incredibly grateful for their presence too.

"Any news boss?" asks Rigsby.

I glance at the status monitor and see no change in the status. "Nope, still waiting, though I hope someone gives us an update soon." As if my prayers were just answered, Nurse Sandra is walking towards us. Her expression is no different than before so it is a little difficult to guess what the news might be.

"Good evening everyone. My apologies for this slightly delayed update. Mr. Jane is still in surgery and it looks like the surgery might take a while longer."

"A while longer? Why? What's wrong?" I ask the nurse.

"A delay doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong. As mentioned before, the duration of the surgery mentioned initially may change over time. After the surgery the doctor will be able to answer all your questions. I will keep you updated in the meanwhile."

This piece of information does not ease my worry at all and I brace myself for a long night ahead. I keep my attention focused on the patient monitor

10:45 p.m. - Status of the surgery: Finishing up

11:20 p.m. – Surgery complete

We heave a sigh of relief and wait for further information from the nurse….


	7. Chasing Answers

_**Notes:**_

 _ **Thank you everyone! I am deeply touched by your latest reviews :) I hope to keep you entertained!**_

 _ **This chapter contains medical stuff related to the injury. Again, it may not be a hundred per cent accurate but I hope it's interesting enough to read! Please don't forget to review!**_

 **Chapter 7: Chasing Answers**

The surgery is over and it took almost 5 hours. I can't even begin to imagine what must have taken place during the long surgery. I just hope there's some good news awaiting us. About 5 minutes later, we see Nurse Sandra walking towards us.

"Ms. Lisbon, Dr. Evans will meet you in a few minutes in his office."

"What about Jane? When can we see him?" I ask.

"He is currently being transferred to the SICU (Surgical Intensive Care Unit). The doctor will be able to advise when you could see him." She gives me a small courteous smile.

A few minutes later I am called in to meet the doctor. I don't feel like facing the doctor alone, so I ask if my team can come along. They agree only because this case involves a law enforcement officer. I am relieved. We make our way to the doctor's office in silence.

"Dr. Evans?"

"Yes, please come in. Take a seat." I sit down, but the others remain standing. The doctor's expressions are unreadable except for the fact that he looks a little tired. We are all tired and it's time we got our answers.

"Hello, I am Dr. Sean Evans and I performed the surgery on your colleague – Mr. Jane."

We nod and acknowledge.

"I am sorry, but it's been a really long day so let me get down straight to the facts. Mr. Jane was seriously injured and was in hypovolemic shock by the time he got to the ER. He had lost a lot of blood as a result of his injury, so he needed a blood transfusion during the surgery and will continue receiving it till his blood volume is back to normal."

I flinch at the information given by the doctor as I recall the ghastly images from a few hours ago. I have to almost force myself back into reality and pay attention to what the doctor is telling us.

"Is he going to be okay?"

"I won't lie to you , your colleague here is in an extremely critical condition due to the blood loss and the extent of the injury. If you take a look here (he draws our attention to a series of films of Jane's CT scan and shows us the trajectory of the bullet) you can see that the bullet entered his trachea (windpipe) from the left side, which then hit his right shoulder blade and broke into fragments; finally embedding itself in his right lung. This caused a traumatic pneumothorax, which means there was a build-up of air and blood in the pleural space"

I am stunned to receive this piece of information, and it takes a huge effort on my part to not break down in the doctor's office. Grace, who is standing beside me, keeps her hand on my shoulder. I understand what it means and I feel grateful for her presence.

I think the doctor understands how shocked we all look so he gives us a few moments to absorb this piece of information.

In a slightly shaky voice I ask him, "Have you been able to extract the bullet completely?

"Yes, we could and as this is a matter of a shooting, we have retrieved the bullet fragments for you. The nurse will hand it over to you as part of the police procedure."

"Thank you very much Dr. Evans." He gives us a nod.

"During the surgery we performed a tracheostomy to secure his airway. He will be on ventilator support for the first 12 hours at least. His neck wound has not yet been closed as it needs to be treated every day. His shoulder blade sustained a fracture due to the impact of the bullet, and we have been able to set it using a metal plate and screws. It should heal nicely by 7 weeks. The bullet fragment embedded in his lung caused his lung to collapse (traumatic pneumothorax), so we have put in a chest tube which will aid in removing trapped air, blood and other fluids from the pleural space. This will allow his lung to fill up with air and will help him breathe normally in due course of time."

"How will we know if the chest tube is working?" I ask.

"There will be some drainage from the tube for some days. Until there's no drainage of any sort, it's only then we can remove the chest tube."

All this information is too much for me to take in as I realize the extent of his injuries. I just don't want any more medical information. It's all so technical, even though his doctor has tried to explain it to us in a simple way. I just want to see him, see if he is breathing, see if he isn't in any pain, and tell him that we will bring the perpetrators to justice.

"Can we see him?" asks Cho, as he realizes that I look a bit lost.

"Yes, but one person at a time for not more than 5 minutes. The attending nurse will be able to show you to his room."

"Thank you very much doctor. Lastly, we need a guard to be posted outside Jane's room 24 hours a day as you know that this was an attempt on his life. Will that be an issue for the hospital?" I ask a little hesitantly.

"I don't see why it could be a problem? Until there's no hindrance to my staff, you may keep a guard posted."

"Right, and for security reasons we need to have a definite list of doctors and nurses who would be attending to his needs. Could you compile a list of the medical personnel for us? We need to have their complete information so that there's no security breach." adds Cho.

"Absolutely, I can give you the list by early morning with all the details. Until then we will take the necessary precautions. Nurse Sandra will be your first point of contact for any information that you might need until early morning. Please feel free to discuss any concerns regarding Mr. Jane's safety with her till I am able to give you the list of personnel."

"Sure, thank you again for your support Dr. Evans. We appreciate it." With a firm handshake, we take his leave.

We are all a bit pensive as we leave the doctor's room. Nurse Sandra finds us walking towards the lounge and asks us to follow her. We walk silently towards our destination. My heart is racing as we make our way to Jane's room. We reach the SICU before I can even think any further. She stops and faces us. Her voice turns a little serious as she prepares us to meet the person inside the room.

"As you enter the room, you will find a lot of beeping monitors and noisy machines. Please do not touch them. He is in a medically induced coma as there's a breathing tube inserted in his throat. It doesn't hurt him as he is on pain medication as well. Now it might look scary, but the neck wound as the doctor mentioned, is kept open for treating it. He will also have multiple IV's and catheters inserted in his body so it is extremely important to be mindful of these while going in the room."

We nod, and I ask the others to go in first. Cho goes in first, then Rigsby, then Van Pelt and now it's my turn. I push the cold steel door open and slowly walk in. I shiver a little due to the cold temperature in the room. All this information given by the doctor and the nurse hasn't really prepared me for what I see right in front of me. My partner is lying in his bed so still, pale and helpless. He's attached to the various contraptions in the room and isn't wearing a hospital gown as there's a tube sticking out of his chest, but there's a blanket covering him and keeping him warm.

I go near his bed and find a spot where I am not obstructing anything. I want to hold his hand in mine but I don't, as I fear I might displace something. I gently run my hand through this soft hair which is now a tangled mess. I try smoothing the tangles gently. As I am doing this I keep talking him very softly.

"You are going to be fine. We are here for you. You are safe here."

With this I make my way towards the door and turn to look at him one last time….

The last thing I hear coming out of my mouth is…."Stay strong, I need you partner."


	8. Stop the Time

_**Notes:**_

 _ **Thank you everyone for your reviews! Reviews do matter and they motivate the writer to continue the story further. Please don't forget to leave a review!**_

 **Chapter 8: Stop the Time**

It's half past midnight when I finally leave Jane's room. I am beyond exhausted. Rigsby, Cho and Grace have left as they start with their investigations tomorrow early morning. Next of kin aren't allowed to stay with the patient in the SICU, so I try to make myself comfortable on one of the sofa chairs right outside Jane's room which is big enough for me to be able to curl up and get a decent amount of sleep. Every 1 hour, a 5 minute visit is allowed, and it feels like a blessing. I decide to get a bit of rest before checking up on Jane about an hour later.

Even though everything seems secure here on the floor, I am being extra vigilant. I'm the one in-charge of Jane's security tonight, and I can't afford to screw up again. Yes, I still hold myself responsible for the attack on Jane. It's something I know I won't be able to get over with for a long…long time. Setting the alarm for 2:00 am, I finally close my eyes…

Sleep doesn't come easily, so I have finally given up trying to get some shut eye. I walk into Jane's room not expecting any change so soon, so I just stand there at the exact same spot where I was about an hour ago and I find myself stroking his head.

"Hey partner, I hope you can hear me. For once, it's a relief that it's just me who gets to talk and you only get to listen." I chuckle internally as I say this.

"It's been a very long day and even though you are tired, I want you to know that we are proud of you for having fought through your surgery. It's our turn now to help you. You just rest for us…okay? We are here for you." I look at him and hope that my words have gotten through to him, giving him the will to stay strong.

"Sleep well partner." I somehow resist the urge of kissing him good night and I walk back towards the sofa tearfully. Sleep comes to me much easily now.

(A few hours later…)

I hear someone calling my name and gently waking me. I open my eyes groggily and find that a blanket has been draped over me by someone. No wonder I slept so soundly. It's Nurse Sandra who's waking me up. I look at my phone to see what time it is. 6:00 am!

"What happened? Is Jane okay? My voice is dripping with panic.

"Yes, he's fine Ms. Lisbon." The nurse reassures me with a tiny smile. "It's actually Dr. Evans who wants to see you."

"Okay, I'll be right there." I head to the washroom to freshen up and then head towards the doctor's room.

"Good morning Agent Lisbon. Sorry to wake you up but as promised earlier, the team of the medical personnel who will be attending to Mr. Jane's needs is here. I'd like to introduce you to the staff."

"Sure." The doctor introduces me to the team. It includes 4 doctors including Dr. Evans, 5 nurses including Nurse Sandra and 2 male medical attendants. Their information has been handed over to me, so I waste no time forwarding this information to Grace for a thorough background check. I go through their information myself. A pretty thorough background has been provided by the hospital and I feel satisfied with what I look at and hope that their background checks turn out fine too. The team I met in Dr. Evans' office is a solid team of professionals committed to their jobs - the best ones available in the hospital.

Grace does a very efficient job and by 7:15 am the medical team gets an all clear from the CBI. Cho lets me know that he's on his way to the hospital with the security guard for the first shift. I heave a sigh of relief. It's time I go check on Jane. As I enter his room I see Nurse Sandra there checking on Jane's status.

"Any change?" I ask her.

"No, Ms. Lisbon, but he's holding his own." She tries reassuring me.

I give her a small smile. She observes that I am a little hesitant to approach Jane.

"Go ahead sweetie, talk to him. Let him know you are here. Patients recover faster when they are able to sense that they aren't alone in the room. Physical touch helps patients feel grounded. Don't be shy. I've seen it all. Go ahead and say whatever you want to say to him …" She smiles a little as she says this.

The nurse is getting some wild ideas in her mind I think. I've never really given this a thought before, but do I really consider Jane anything more than my best friend? I ponder over this while waiting for the nurse to leave.

She leaves and I make my way towards Jane's bed. Pulling the chair near his bed I sit down.

"Good morning partner!" I try to sound as cheery as I can.

"Slept well? I managed to get some sleep here, right outside your room. Sorry, I slept off and didn't come to see you sooner. You know, Cho and Rigsby have made some headway and they are going to be out in the field today investigating some possible suspects. We are going to keep a security guard outside your room for your safety. Van Pelt has been very helpful. She's a sweetheart. All of them send their best wishes to you. Oh, and I almost forgot to tell you, we have a special of team of doctors who is going to oversee your recovery. See? The CBI has only the best in mind for you. Wouldn't it be nice to wake up for a bit and grace us with your dazzling smile?"

The only answer I get is in beeps and hums. Giving his hand a slight squeeze, I leave the room. Cho is already waiting for me in the lounge. The guard – Matthew Smith has already been introduced to the team. Cho and I take him to Jane's room for a silent introduction. Clear expectations are set with regards to visitors – only a few known people from the CBI are put on that list. Only the approved medical personnel are to be allowed in his room. It's clear to the guard that the stakes are high on this assignment. He promises us there won't be any problem. After asking about Jane, Cho takes our leave to head out to the High Desert State Prison along with Rigsby. I ask him to keep me informed on a regular basis.

 **I** head back to Jane's room. "Hey sleepyhead, I'm going to go home for some time. I will be back soon. Matthew is right outside your room and will make sure of your safety. Be good and don't trouble the doctors and nurses." I smirk. Running my hand through his hair, I look at him one last time before I leave the room.

Back home by 9:00 am, I call up Grace and tell her I'll be in the office in an hour. After taking a nice hot shower I feel a little normal; normal enough to put on a smile and be in-charge.

I reach the office by 10:15 am and find that Van Pelt is already hard at work and is reviewing the CCTV footage.

"Morning Grace. How are we looking?"

 **"** Morning boss, I've been going through the CCTV footage. On Friday evening, the attack took place between 5:30 pm – 5:40 pm. There's no visible shooter in the vicinity, which means the shots were fired from behind a vehicle in the parking lot, which also means that they were fired from a distance, so it means…."

"They were fired using a rifle." I complete her thought. I shudder at the thought that someone tried to kill Jane using a rifle. A f***ing rifle! What is this person's grudge against Jane?

"The only thing the CCTV cameras picked up was a black car speeding away about 2 minutes later. So the shooter definitely had an accomplice."

"Have we been able to pull up the plates of the vehicle?"

"Yes boss, it was an unmarked police vehicle, but there's a high possibility that the license plates were changed after the escape from the prison. Anyway, the prison authorities have already issued an alert with regards to the stolen vehicle. Cho and Rigsby will be investigating this theft as well."

"Also, we checked the motel records, no new guests had checked in on the day of the attack, neither had anyone checked in within the past 2 days. It also looks like these people took every precaution of flying under the radar as no one saw or heard anything suspicious."

My face drops a bit on hearing this. We've reached dead end here, but then I remember! I quickly walk towards my office and pull out a sealed packet from my bag. I hand it over to Grace and ask her to send it over to Forensics.

"Inform them that we are awaiting the ballistics report on the bullet fragments ASAP. This is to be treated with the highest priority."

"Yes boss."

"Good work so far Grace. I'm heading over to the hospital now. Start by checking the online records for these men – personal, professional, criminal. Every detail is important in this one. I will be back by lunchtime. If there's anything important call me."

"Yes boss. Let us know how Jane's doing. He's in our prayers." She gives me a hug before I leave.

As I am driving towards the hospital, I hope we get new evidence regarding these shooters soon enough. It's horrible that anyone can shoot anyone in this country. I seriously consider recommending the CBI to provide weapons to their consultants too. Their lives are as important as any other law officer's in this country. When Jane gets out of here, I am determined to move him to a better locality where there's enough security. No more living in a crappy motel for him.

My thoughts keep me busy till I reach the hospital. On reaching the floor where Jane is, I get a sense that something is different. Well, nothing looks different; it just feels different to me. The security guard outside Jane's room acknowledges me as I open the door to Jane's room. There's a doctor along with two nurses in the room. I recognize them from the team that I met in the morning. They are talking in a hushed tone. One of the nurses is injecting something in his IV line, while the other one has just finished drawing some blood from Jane's right arm. The doctor is busy checking Jane's neck wound with a slightly worried look on his face. I ask them what's happening.

"Agent Lisbon, Mr. Jane has developed a fever. We think it's because of an infection at the surgical site or it could be something else, that's why we are running some tests. As you hold his medical power of attorney, we suggest, you be in the hospital itself as his medical decisions will be taken by you."

"Yes, I understand. I'll be here now."

This is so unexpected. It feels like a huge pressure crushing down on me. Jane was fine when I left to go to work in the morning. What happened suddenly? After the doctor and nurses have left the room, I move closer towards Jane. He looks paler than he was in the morning. A few strands of his beautiful curls are damp and his face is hot to touch. Worry engulfs me and I just sit there holding his hand, oblivious to the fact that his neck wound is oozing of blood…


	9. Case Flashback

_**Notes: Dear All, I am very sorry that I am posting a new chapter after a very long time. I am so thankful to each one of you for your continued support! This chapter was difficult to write due to the complexity of the story so far. This has turned out to be the longest chapter ever! As always, please leave a review for this chapter, that's the encouragement the writer needs! Enjoy!**_

 **Chapter 9: Case Flashback**

 **As am sitting near Jane holding his hand, a nurse enters with a surgical tray and some instruments in it.** **"** **Agent Lisbon, it's time for Mr. Jane's wound to be debrided. Could you please wait outside for some time?"**

 **Although I am reluctant to leave Jane's side, I know I can't stay in the room. I nod and step outside and call up Van Pelt in the meanwhile.**

 **"** **Van Pelt, I am going to be at the hospital a little while longer, any updates yet?"**

 **"** **Yes boss, forensics has informed that the report will be ready in an hour and the prison database has given us some more details to work on."**

 **"** **Yeah? Like what?"**

 **"** **Pete and Luke are Mexican nationals and they were involved in a number of small incidents with the law like – robberies and DUI's before they struck gold in a bank robbery. The case file that we have on them shows a time gap of seven months since their last robbery till the time they were arrested for the homicide of 14 women in California."**

 **"** **14 women?"**

 **"** **Yes boss. The case was originally being handled by the San Diego PD but was then transferred to us as the incidents started happening in Sacramento County." Before I can ask her any further questions, Grace asks me to hold on.**

 **"** **Boss, the ballistics report is here. Should I give you the details now or would you like to come and take a look at it at the office?"**

 **"** **It would be better if you tell me the details now as I don't know for how much longer I am going to be here. The doctors want me to be around."**

 **"** **Oh okay. Is everything okay there boss?"**

 **"** **Not really. Jane has spiked a fever, so they are running some tests to find out the cause."**

 **"** **Oh…am sorry to hear this. Are you okay?"**

 **"** **Yes, I am. Thanks Grace. So tell me, what does the report say?"**

 **"** **The weapon used for the attack was a Remington 700 rifle – the civilian version. The second bullet recovered from the scene confirms the weapon used in the attack."**

 **"** **Okay that's a good lead to go on. Have you heard anything from Cho or Rigsby?"**

 **"** **Not yet boss. I will keep you informed."**

 **"** **And boss, could I come over to the hospital? I would like to hand over a copy of the case file to you so that you could go through the details while you are there and I could relieve you for a bit."**

 **"** **That would be great. I'd appreciate that."**

 **"** **Okay boss, I'll be there in about 20 minutes.**

 **While I am waiting for Van Pelt to show up I decide to go check in on Jane. I quietly peek into his room and find that his nurse has already left, so I take this opportunity to go and sit with him for some time. He still looks pale to me, and he still feels warm, but now he's sporting a white bandage on his neck.**

 **(About 25 minutes later…)**

 **Van Pelt arrives with a thick file in her hands. The file will keep me busy for a while…might as well start reading it. She gives me a tight hug, hands over the file and urges me to go to the cafeteria and have a proper lunch. I tell her to give me a call if she needs me.**

 **I find myself an empty table and sit down with the file. I am in no mood to eat as yet, so I start going through it. As I get to the part where there are details of the homicides, the cases start coming back to me and I begin reliving the anxiety I had felt back then.**

 **(Flashback)….**

 **The LAPD had just handed over this case file to us and it was a nasty one. Six women were dead under mysterious circumstances. Five women were dead in San Diego under similar circumstances. There was no ransom note, no weapons used, no visible traces left behind. Before the PD could figure out what had happened to the victim, the next mysterious death had already taken place. This was already turning into a PR nightmare for the SDPD and the LAPD. Then the 12** **th** **one happened in our county and the LAPD was rather too relieved to hand over the case file to us. It was now going to be a collaborative effort between us, the LAPD and the San Diego PD. That 1 month was hellish for us but more so for Jane. We were swamped with these cases – three deaths in a month, working long hours, and to top it off, the Californian summer was particularly harsh that year. The last case (14** **th** **one) that we got nearly destroyed Jane. He's the chirpiest member in the team and bowls everyone over with his wit and charm while solving a case, but this time it was different.**

 **I remember walking into that apartment with him. He walked in as solemnly as he had done for the two previous deaths, but the wonder of the mystery disappeared from his face as soon he saw the body of the victim. I heard him gasp at the sight of the body and I wondered what was wrong? By the time I had caught up with him I could see he was shaking. When I glanced over to the body I realized what had brought this on. I felt so stupid for letting him walk in alone to the scene of the crime. I asked the person in-charge to quickly cover up the body and I looked at Jane. He hadn't moved from his place but I could see his eyes glistening with tears even though he was trying his best to be strong. That wasn't a good sign, but what was the poor man supposed to do? The face of this victim bore a close resemblance to his deceased wife Angela. I pulled him away from the body and led him into the next room where it was more private. I got him to sit down on the bed and look at me. He barely registered my presence and I was sure he was in a state of shock. His palms were icy cold and his skin was clammy. I remember yelling out to the paramedics on the scene to rush in with warm blankets and a first aid kit. Everything was such a blur after that…I didn't realize Jane had tried to stand up in the meanwhile, so when I looked at him standing unsteadily on his feet, I knew it was going to end painfully. He fainted, and there was nothing I could do to prevent his fall. We were all shocked at what had just happened. Because he was unconscious, the paramedics had taken him to the nearest hospital where he had spent the night. Jane was discharged the next morning but was not allowed to go back into the field, but Jane being Jane, he wanted to be a part of the investigation.**

 **He was being very adamant as the case had a personal significance to him – though not a very pleasant one. Hightower's intervention was needed to keep him in check by restricting his access to the case. He was very upset and had not spoken to any of us for two days. He barely ate or drank during those two days as a protest against his removal from the case. Locking himself in his 'room' upstairs did no good to anyone as we had three cases to solve minus our best consultant.**

 **We were looking into all aspects of the previous cases, but the cases didn't have much to go on except for the obvious facts. The MO was consistent – the victims were in the age group of mid 50s to late 60s, except for the last one. All of them were single. No signs of strangulation, injection, burn or stab wounds were found on them and no signs of forced entry were found in the house either. Neighbours and any surviving family members were ruled out as possible suspects. The only glaring facts available to us were that the these incidents happened when these women were alone at home, and the closed circuit cameras in each of these houses were mysteriously disabled at the approximate time of the incident. This time around though, the deaths in Sacramento County were slightly different in their pattern as compared to the previous ones.**

 **The three deaths had occurred in the same apartment almost a few days apart from each other. This was a huge deviation from the earlier pattern of the deaths. Although there was no visible cause for these deaths, we hoped that this deviation in the pattern of killings would lead us to the suspects soon enough. The last death though, wasn't that of the tenant of the house, but of a relative who had let herself in the house. She was found dead by the tenant of the house.**

 **Time was running out and we were left with no choice but with to seek Jane's help with regards to these cases. He was too happy to help. He had gone back to the three crime scenes to take a more detailed look at them. I had watched him like a hawk to see if he was alright, to see that he didn't show any signs of distress anywhere. I was under strict orders from Hightower to remove him from a crime scene if there was even the slightest hint of distress emanating from him.**

 **Jane had deliberately gone to the latest (the newest) crime scene and had assured us that he'd be fine. The three women who had died were living in this small building which was four storeys high. It had four – two room apartments on the first three floors while the last floor had a penthouse which belonged to the owner of the building. The apartments in which the incidents had taken place were dingy and had just one small window in each of the rooms. When I walked into the house with Jane, he noticed that the two windows were closed. He walked further into the house to inspect the other areas. I followed him. He noticed there was a window AC unit in the house which looked particularly shiny as compared to the rest of the gadgets in the apartment. No other equipment in the house looked as well maintained as this one. He stood there for a minute and then walked out of the room. He asked me to check with the rest of the team if there were any window units in the other houses in a similar condition, and yes indeed, the air conditioning units in the other houses too seemed to be well maintained. Jane's mind was now in the overdrive mode and he had that 'I-think-I-solved-a-part-of-the-case' crazy look in his eyes. He mentioned that we had a starting point - the servicing company for the air conditioners. He then threw a wild theory at us (the team) – what if these women were poisoned to death via their home air conditioner? Turns out, Jane was right. After a few more rounds of investigation the CBI had finally arrested the two men directly responsible for the homicides of 14 women in the state of California – Pete Sanchez and Luke Terence. It had turned out that the deaths had been caused due to Freon and Carbon Monoxide poisoning via the air conditioners. Freon is a refrigerant used in air conditioners but the Freon used by these men in the air conditioning units was not meant for home air conditioners, as a result of which the AC coil had developed tiny cracks. These men had added a deadly mix of Carbon Monoxide and Freon in the cooling system of the AC. These gases leaked from the cracks of the coils of the AC and made the victims sick over a period of three to four days. As these gases were odourless, by the time victims had realized that they were becoming sick, it was too late.**

 **When the men had been brought in for questioning, Jane was the one who was in the interrogation room with them. He wanted to be left alone with them as he wanted to be the one to get a confession out of them. He also wanted them to be uncuffed to which Hightower and I had objected but he got his wish fulfilled anyway. From behind the two-way glass we had all witnessed Jane do his thing. It had taken every ounce of his restraint to maintain his calm as the interrogation had progressed. Jane had wanted to know what their motive behind picking the victims was. He was especially interested in knowing about the last victim – the one who bore a striking resemblance to his wife's face.**

 **The whole transcript of the interrogation was recorded in the case file and as I'm reading through it today, my heart is boiling with anger for these men who have hurt Jane.**

 ** _Jane: So why did you kill her? (pointing at the picture of the last victim)_**

 ** _Pete: She wasn't our target, but she came in the way._**

 ** _Jane: You couldn't let her go?_**

 ** _Luke: She was hot! (grins devilishly)_**

 ** _Pete: And she was young (licks his lips)_**

 ** _Jane: So you let her die for fun? (slightly agitated voice)_**

 ** _Pete: What does it matter to you blondie? Were you two a thing? (laughs menacingly)_**

 ** _Luke: Yeah, why the special interest in her officer? I bet she had the hots for you!_**

 **And then I remembered the horror of the scene that had unfolded right in front of my eyes. Jane had walked up to the door of the room and had locked it to our surprise. Then, very angrily he had gone straight for Luke's chair and he had pushed the chair so hard that it had toppled over taking Luke along with it. Jane had stepped on Luke's fingers which caused Luke to scream in agony.**

 **I remember screaming from behind the bulletproof glass and getting Cho and Rigsby to get the door to the room open. Pete got mad and attacked Jane with a pocketknife. The knife had sliced through Jane's forearm and I could see the sleeve of his white shirt turn to crimson. We were still struggling with the door. Jane hadn't even acknowledged that cut and had turned around to face Pete. Pete was a huge guy and Jane was no match for his size, so Jane did the unthinkable…he pushed the heavy table in the room towards Pete causing Pete to stumble and fall with the table on top of him. Before anything else could happen, Cho got the door open and we rushed into the room. Rigsby and Cho managed to pull a very angry Jane from the room out in the open while the security guards helped lift the table and take the men into custody. As Jane was being taken away from the room Pete had yelled out to Jane saying he would get him and kill him too. What a nightmare this was! Hightower was furious with what had just happened and I had to excuse myself to go and check in on my very angry consultant.**

 **I had reached the bullpen where a paramedic had just arrived and was taking a look at Jane's injured hand. Jane was a sweaty and bloody mess. As I walked toward him I realized it was a deep wound, the blood just kept gushing out of it. Jane's breaths were ragged – due to the exertion and the injury. The paramedic had said that it looked like a major vein was hit and that Jane would have to be taken to a hospital for the stitches. By the time we had reached the hospital he looked pale. As there was a lot of blood loss from the hand and he looked weak, the doctors hadn't taken any further chances and had sedated him completely before suturing his hand. On the doctor's recommendation Jane was admitted to the hospital for a couple of days.**

 **As I recall the bloody images in my mind of the incident that had happened back then, and the one that had happened now, I feel pure hatred towards these men. I make my way towards Jane's room and go and sit next to him. I hold his warm hand and promise him that the CBI will make these guys pay for what they had done to him and that we were all there for him praying for his recovery. The only answer I get is in hums and beeps…**


	10. Silent Conversations

**Hello everyone...sorry for the extreme delay in updating the story. I was unwell and was hospitalized. I am much better now, hence the update!**

 ***Lisbon's internal thoughts are mentioned in brackets ( )**

 **Chapter 10: Silent Conversations**

I can't remember when I came into Jane's room, must have fallen asleep while listening to the heart monitor beeping in the background….but I feel like someone's trying to wake me up. I wake up a little disoriented and find a nurse standing right in front of me. As my vision clears up I see her name tag – Lily.

"Sorry, I fell asleep. What time is it?"

"It's 6:00 pm Agent Lisbon."

"6:00 pm? Jesus! How's Jane?" I look towards Jane who appears to be sleeping peacefully.

"He's holding his own Agent Lisbon. The doctor will be coming in a few minutes to check in on Mr. Jane's condition."

With this, the nurse walks out of the room leaving me near Jane's bedside. Dr. Evans has already relaxed the visiting hours for me, thus allowing me to remain by Jane's bedside for longer durations. I feel so blessed that I have been allowed to spend more time in Jane's room and to be there for him. After all, I hold his medical power of attorney and it's my responsibility to oversee his medical care as much as possible.

I pull the chair towards Jane's bed as quietly as I can, and then take a seat. It's been a little over 24 hours since the horror unfolded right in front of my eyes and the images from those moments are hard to shake off. The doctor had mentioned that it would hasten the healing process if the patient heard familiar voices even while in a medically induced coma. This is what I've decided to do today – to talk to Jane and be with him. His healing is my utmost priority, so it doesn't matter if I have to make up silly stories for Jane or read a book or do anything for that matter….I'll do it for him.

I take his hand in mine and it's warmer than before. I try to shove aside my worries and concentrate on beginning a cheerful conversation with him.

"Hi Jane, it's me. We are all praying for you to get better soon."

As I am running my fingers through his soft hair and gently stroking his feverish forehead, I keep talking to him.

"Jane, I am so sorry that I doubted you yesterday and ended up getting mad at you. I shouldn't have. That's the problem with me you know? I get impatient at times and I hurt the people who are the closest to me, whereas you are the most cheerful and fun-loving person I've ever known….(in spite of everything that has happened with you in the past). I still don't know why you felt the need to apologize….Sweetheart, you've done nothing wrong. You could never do anything wrong."

I keep running my fingers very gently through his soft hair and then I caress his handsome face. His day old stubble pricks me and it feels as if it is Jane's way of getting back at me (playfully) even when he's here lying so still and pale in his bed. Tears slip through my eyes and I let them flow…before I know it, I realize that I am sobbing my heart out.

I hear the door to Jane's room being opened, and I make a sloppy attempt at wiping my tears away. It's the doctor and the nurse. I stand up to face them and give them a meek smile.

"Agent Lisbon, please remain seated." The doctor looks at me sympathetically.

"I'm afraid I have got some bad news for you." My world collapses as I hear those words.

"What is it?" I ask the doctor tearfully.

"He has developed a blood infection due to bacterial pneumonia and this is why he is feverish. We have already begun the antibiotic treatment, but I am afraid that this is a setback in his recovery. This will require him to remain on ventilator support for a longer duration. The next 12 hours are critical to his recovery."

I am too stunned to receive this news and suddenly I don't know how to respond to what the doctor has just told me. I just numbly sit there trying to comprehend the doctor's words. This can't be happening. I try to calm my racing heartbeats and manage to respond to the doctor.

"H..how did this happen? What's going on?"

"Unfortunately, this type of pneumonia is quite common in a hospital setting, but the recovery depends on the patient's condition."

"What do you mean by the recovery depends on the patient's condition?"

"It just means that how well the patient responds to the treatment is dependent not only the medication administered, but also on the patient's will to live / fight through it.

I take a moment to absorb what the doctor has just told me. In a shaky voice I continue…

"So what are you saying doctor? Are you saying that…."

"No, Agent Lisbon, that's not what I meant. However, it is my duty to let you know all the facts regarding Mr. Jane's recovery."

"I understand. Thank you for informing me. Would it still be okay if I remain by his bedside?"

"Sure, but as he has developed an infection, we request you to comply with the hospital's policy of wearing scrubs before you enter the room. He will have to be kept in isolation. You may visit him whenever you want as you hold his medical power of attorney, but every time you enter the room you will need to wear a surgical cap, gown and a mask. We can decide at a later time if he can have more visitors. It all depends on his condition."

"Yes doctor, I understand." The doctor gives me a look of reassurance and asks me to step out of the room while the medical personnel prepare Jane's room for isolation. I step out with a heavy heart. My throat feels parched and my eyes feel sore. I make my way to the washroom. Splashing some warm water feels good on my icy skin. I drink some water and head towards the chapel.

I've never really been a religious person but I still wear a cross around my neck. I have come to realise that it's more in remembrance of mom, rather than it being a symbol of my faith. Today I feel like I need solace from this maddening pace at which Jane's condition is undergoing changes. It's almost 8:30 pm when I get to the chapel. It's on a different floor of the hospital and it's very quiet in there - too quiet in fact. (I think my ears have gotten used to the noisy machines in Jane's room) There are just a few people there at this hour. I find myself a comfortable spot and sit down to pray. It's just a silent talk between me and God and I hope that my sincere prayers are heard by Him. There's not much to be done in the chapel other than praying and finding the mental and emotional strength to get through this and bring Jane safely out of this. So, I just sit there till the choked up feeling in my throat eases up.

As I prepare to enter his room donning the surgical scrubs, I feel a little uncomfortable, but it must be done for his safety…I remind myself that. I enter his dimly lit room and go near his bed and sit down on the super soft sofa chair. I am surprised, as this wasn't there in the room a couple of hours ago. I actually feel quite comfortable in the sofa chair and this makes me smile! I've realize that I've smiled for the first time ever since we arrived at the hospital but then, I feel something moving under palms…Jane's fingers are moving, in fact, they are tightly holding onto the bed sheet. I quickly switch on the overhead light as it's too dark in the room and find him in distress! Beads of perspiration are trickling down his face and his face is scrunched in pain. He's fighting the ventilator and I can see the effort it's taking for him to breathe! His accessory respiratory muscles show the strain he is in and then suddenly his eyes fly open! He looks straight at me with pleading eyes and mouths (moves lips to say) … "Love you" and then he takes a final shuddering breath and closes his eyes…..It has all happened in a matter of seconds and I stand there shocked and helpless with tears streaming down my eyes….

 ***This isn't the last chapter…***


	11. The Fight for Survival

***It will be interesting to see your interpretation of this chapter! Please do leave your feedback :)***

 **Chapter 11: The Fight for Survival**

"No…no….no this can't be happening! He can't die! Wake up Jane, c'mon, come back to me…."

I am sobbing and shaking his body in an attempt that he'll somehow wake up. Where are the medical personnel I wonder, and I slam on the emergency call button, but no one seems to be coming! This is a nightmare! I can't let him go like this. The heart monitor is still wailing a long continuous beep in the background indicating that Jane's heart has stopped and that he's not breathing. Without wasting any further time, I begin chest compressions. While am doing the compressions his neck wound starts gushing out blood, it's as if a tap of water has been left open! So much blood…and I can't seem to do anything about it! I am still performing the chest compressions without any help in sight and now it's tiring me out. I stop for a few seconds to catch my breath but I hear something in that moment and it scares the hell out of me.

"Tyger Tyger burning bright, Patrick is dead, he is mine…"

I am shivering due to fear….and I feel my body shaking. In the background, I hear someone calling out my name…

"Agent Lisbon, can you hear me? Open your eyes, c'mon. It's okay. Just breathe"

What the hell? I slowly open my eyes and I see the doctor standing in front of me. I am confused!

"Wha…What? Where's Jane?" I sob loudly.

The nurse standing there gives me some Gatorade and rubs my back soothingly. I take a sip and look at the doctor pleadingly. He sits next to me.

"Agent Lisbon, you are in the hospital chapel. Do you remember coming here?"

I look around and nod my head tearfully.

"You were only having a nightmare. Everything is fine here. Please take another sip of your drink."

I do as he says and ask, "Is Jane okay? I want to see him."

"He's okay in his room. Can you stand up?"

Why's the doctor asking me that…I wonder? I try standing up, but I immediately lose my balance. The nurse and the doctor quickly support my body and help me sit down.

"I'm feeling dizzy." I complain to the doctor.

"It's alright. We'll sit here until you start feeling better. No need to hurry."

I finish my drink and I urge the doctor to take me to see Jane. He agrees, but on one condition only – that I will lie down and rest after that. I have no choice so I relent. I am made to sit in a wheelchair which is slightly embarrassing because I'm not at all sick, but it's against the hospital rules to let a 'patient' walk it down.

We finally reach his room and I have to get up to wear the surgical scrubs before going in to meet him. This time I am also given gloves to wear.

"Just 5 minutes Agent Lisbon…." the doctor reminds me.

I walk in to the room and go and sit on the chair near Jane's bed. His skin feels hot; it gives a burning sensation under my fingers. I know that this isn't a good sign but I'm determined to not let my worry get the best of me. I hold his hand in my gloved hand and find it hot too, but I ignore the hot feeling and almost plant a kiss on the back side of his palm but the stupid surgical mask comes in the way. I cannot take it down due to medical restrictions. Never mind – I tell myself. I pull the chair a little closer to his bed to talk to him…

"Jane, it's me…"

I suddenly feel tongue-tied and I don't know what to say to him. His condition is critical and the doctor has made us aware of how serious his illness is. In spite of this, my heart tells me that I need to keep this talk very light – nothing serious at all.

So, I finally begin….

"Jane, hey…I miss having tea with you. You know, we've restocked the whole pantry with your favourite tea bags and we are also going to get a vending machine so that you can munch on something any time of the day you want. Isn't that awesome? But you will have to let us know all your favourite munchies. You will, won't you?"

I tear up a bit, but continue anyway….

"You know, when it's time for you to leave the hospital, we have a big surprise planned for you. Yeah, you heard it right, but for that you are going to have to wake up soon. We really can't wait to show it to you. We miss you….."

I am choked and I know it's time for me to go.

"Stay strong Jane." I touch his cheek very lightly with my gloved hand and then walk out of the room with a heavy heart.

It's almost 11:00 pm when I walk out of Jane's room. The nurse at the nurse station escorts me to my room for the night. The doctor has been kind enough to allocate the room next door to me. I am beyond exhausted and the sight of a bed - even if it is a patient bed, looks very inviting to me. The nurses on the floor have been very kind and have kept a set of scrubs for me to wear for the night. The colour of the scrubs is lilac and it instantly feels welcoming to my sore eyes. I put on the dress and crawl into the big hospital bed and snuggle under the blanket. Before I know it, I am fast asleep.

 ** _Meanwhile in Jane's room….._**

" _Hello Patrick, it looks like you're going to give up very soon._ _Making my work easy for me hmm? I never thought you'd be the one to give up so easily (wicked laugh)…"_

" _Look, your wife and your daughter are ashamed of you because you couldn't kill me…what a shame Patrick….what a shame! You are nothing but a loser and I've won this game again (roaring laughter)…"_

" _Patrick, what have you done? You had promised us you would avenge our death by killing Red John…but here you are ready to give up…."_

 _Angela and Charlotte are walking towards Jane with tears streaming down their faces and Jane can't do a thing to ease their pain as he looks at them helplessly…_


	12. Come Back Now

***I am terribly sorry that I am updating the story after a very long time! Many of you might have forgotten about this story, so it's best to read it right from the beginning :) Please don't forget to leave a feedback below this chapter. It hardly takes any time!***

 **This chapter contains a lot of medical terms/stuff but it's not that difficult to understand :) I hope any medical professionals reading this enjoy the nonsense I have written in this chapter :P**

 **Chapter 12: Come Back Now**

I can see my lovely Angela and Charlotte walking towards me and I want to scream with joy, but wait…they aren't smiling! Tears are rolling down their faces and their teardrops are staining their crisp white dresses into a crimson red. What is this happening? I keep looking at them helplessly as I can't seem to do anything to help them. This is a nightmare! I am struggling to get up and to reach them but I seem to be going further away from them as much as they are trying to get closer to me….

(The alarm on one of the machines starts beeping; nurse Sandra comes running into the room and pages the doctor.)

"His O2 sats have dropped slightly doctor.

"Check his trach tube. When was the last time he was suctioned?"

"Just a couple of hours ago doctor… I'll check again."

"Chest is clear doctor."

"Everything looks okay doctor, all the bandages are in place. I think his fever has increased, his skin feels hotter than before."

"Okay check his temperature Sandra, and run an arterial blood gas. Let's see if we get anything from there."

The results are back in less than 20 minutes and it is found that Jane has mild hypoxemia. The preliminary CBC results reconfirm the diagnosis of bacterial pneumonia. The doctor decides to wake up Lisbon and inform her about the latest happenings.

"Agent Lisbon"… it's the middle of the night and I feel someone shaking me gently to wake me up. After a little more prodding I finally wake up and see the nurse standing beside me.

"Agent Lisbon, sorry to wake you up, but you need to come with me.

Shocked, I ask, "Why? What's happened? Is Jane okay?"

"I'm sorry, only the doctor can tell you that. Please visit him in his office. He's waiting for you there."

I don't bother changing into my regular clothes. I simply slip my feet into the hospital provided flip-flops and make my way to the doctor's office. Doctor Evans asks me to take a seat and dials a number to bring us two cups of coffee.

"Agent Lisbon, sorry to have woken you up in the middle of the night, but there has been a situation with regards to Jane's condition."

"What situation?" I ask the doctor.

Just then the coffee arrives.

I see some hesitation on the doctor's face… "What is it doctor? Has he shown any signs of waking up?"

"I'm afraid not Agent Lisbon. I am very sorry to say but it looks like does not have much time left.

I can't believe what I have heard and the coffee in my mouth splatters all over the table in front of me. It's a miracle that the droplets of the coffee have missed hitting the doctor by just a few inches. While coughing, I see the regret written on the doctor's face. He rushes by my side and presses the call button for the nurse to come in. I am still coughing and gagging and the strain is making my eyes tear up. The nurse runs her hand repeatedly on my back in an attempt to soothe me. The coughing fit lasts for a few minutes but to me it seems like a lifetime. Finally the coughing stops and the nurse hands me a glass of lukewarm water to soothe my throat. It takes a few minutes for my throat and body to calm down from the coughing fit. However, my heart and my mind have different plans. I find teardrops slipping thru my eyes as I ask the doctor all the details.

"Agent Lisbon, I am so, so sorry to be the one to have to tell you this, but it looks like he is giving up in spite of our efforts to treat him. We had already begun treating him for bacterial pneumonia which had spread to his blood. We took the necessary steps – kept him in isolation to minimize any infection, administered the required medication…but he isn't showing any improvement and has in fact developed a high fever. His temperature is higher than before and although we have placed a cooling blanket on him we aren't sure how much that will help. We also ran a blood gas test and it shows his oxygen levels are dipping in spite of the ventilator support. We are honestly at a loss about how to treat him."

I can't believe what the doctor has just told me. The medical team is running out of options and that Jane might die? No no no! I won't let him die, there has to be a way. "Isn't there anything else you can do for him? Maybe try another drug? What about his chest tube – you had mentioned that it can be pulled out only after the drainage stops? What's happening with that? Can you run some more blood tests to find out what's going on with him?" I shoot all sorts of questions towards the doctor.

The doctor gives me a sympathetic smile and answers my questions patiently.

"Agent Lisbon, we already have him on the second type of antibiotic as the first one didn't help in reducing his fever. There's one more antibiotic that we could try, but it's a very strong medication and we aren't sure if his body will be able to handle it. His immune system is quite weak at this stage and unfortunately, it isn't able to fight off the infection that he has contracted. He is also still draining fluids from his chest so I'm afraid the chest tube still needs to be where it is. We will be starting him on supplemental oxygen as his blood oxygen levels are low in spite of the ventilator support. We have also been thinking about bringing him out of the induced coma to see if it improves his condition, but as I said before, his condition is very weak, so we aren't sure if his body will be able to handle all these stresses."

I close my eyes and I remain quiet for some time as it's taking me some time to absorb all the information the doctor has just given me. Jane and weak are terms that don't go together in my opinion. I have known him for long enough to be able to say for sure that Jane is a person who doesn't give up easily. He has been a fighter for as long as I have known him and he has survived the worst of the days, so I feel confident that he will pull thru this time too. I finally compose myself and ask the doctor what's the next best step he can take.

"A reduction in sedation and administering continuous supplemental oxygen in addition to the ventilator support"…is the doctor's reply.

"Won't the reduction in sedation cause him any difficulty?"

"Yes Agent Lisbon, we anticipate that and hence we do these three things together – we reduce the sedation and then administer oxygen through a face mask and lastly we increase the pain medication by a bit so that the patient doesn't feel much distress."

"What do you mean by doesn't feel much distress? Will he be in pain?"

"So Agent Lisbon, this is what you should know. He is currently on narcotic pain medication due to his injuries and the chest tube, but these medicines can increase the risk in breathing. He already has a fever and the pain medication might be working against the ability of his body to accept a full breath from the ventilator. So this is what we plan to do. After we reduce the sedation and the pain medication through his IV line and put the oxygen mask on, we will increase the local anesthesia through topical medicines. This will reduce the amount of medication flowing through his blood stream and might help with our cause."

This sounds like a plan to my medically untrained ears and brain and I give him the permission to try this treatment out. I am very scared for Jane and I'm scared because I hold his medical power of attorney and all the decisions about his welfare rest with me and no one else. I pray to God that this change in treatment works for Jane. I ask the doctor if I can see Jane prior to this change of treatment. He advises me to stay put until his team finishes making all the changes required in the treatment plan as there's no time to waste. Each second is valuable and every breath counts. So I wait…..as patiently as I can – right outside Jane's room. It's 3:30 am in the morning but sleep and food are the last things on my mind as I wait for the medical personnel to do their jobs. The doctor will be giving me instructions for my subsequent visit to Jane's room and I can hardly seem to wait.

About 30 minutes later a nurse asks me to wear scrubs so that I can enter the hospital room for the further procedures. My heart is racing while I am putting on the scrubs as I don't know what to expect to see on the other side of the door. I am ready to enter the room and push open the door to Jane's room. The first thing I notice is how cold the room is! It's like I've entered a freezer…and then I see the person I came to see. He looks so pale that it scares me. I had gotten used to seeing the rise and fall of his chest in-sync with the beeps of the ventilator, but now I also see a mask covering his face – his beautiful and handsome face. I didn't think that the addition of a face mask would make me so jittery. I am trembling a little as I approach Jane's bedside.

The doctor asks me to come and stand on the other side of Jane's bed so that I can see what's happening. He tells me that he has numbed the areas of incision and injury and that he is going to start reducing the pain medication now. He decreases the medication right in front of my eyes and then proceeds to decrease the sedative medication. As he's decreasing the sedative he tells me that I might see Jane's eyelids move or maybe one of his fingers move in a few hours and that it is totally normal for the body to react that way. He also advises me that even though I see that movement it does not mean that Jane is out of the woods or that things are okay, it is just the body's response to a decrease in the sedation. This makes me a little unhappy, but I am basically more than willing to give anything a try so that Jane starts recovering. With all these things done, the doctor and the nurse leave the room and I once again find myself alone in the room with Jane.

I am dressed in scrubs but I don't care. I need to touch Jane to keep myself from losing it. The first thing I do is gently smooth his hair. His wild curls are entangled with each other, so I try to not to mess with them unnecessarily. I stroke his forehead a couple of times and plant a kiss there. I pull the chair in the room closer to his bed and begin the one-sided conversation that has been playing in my head ever since I met the doctor.

"Jane, sweetheart, it's me. We are all fighting for you and we want to see you recover soon. I know it's hard but you need to keep fighting too. I need you respond to the treatment and that's an order. It's an order with love and care. You understand? I am here for you, we are all here for you. Agent Hightower is going to come and visit you tomorrow, so now no more fever okay? We are a team and we have to remain a team no matter what. Tonight I am going to be with you, so don't you worry about anything. You are going to be fine, just fine, but come back to us now. We miss you. With this I kiss him on the forehead again and recline on the sofa-chair next to his bed. I'm proud of myself that I didn't cry even a bit as I think my heart knows that everything will be okay in the end.

I gently place my hand over his hand which does not have an IV attached to it, I pull up my blanket and close my eyes in an attempt to get some sleep but sleep doesn't come easily, so I pull out my phone and play some soothing instrumental music in a very low volume and soon I find myself falling asleep.

"Good night Jane, sleep well. I kiss the back of his palm and finally go to sleep…


	13. Home is where the patient is

****Thank you for all the wonderful reviews everyone! I was so happy to read that you guys still have an interest in my story!  
****

 ** **I hope you all will like this chapter too :)****

 **Chapter 13: Home is where the patient is**

Morning arrives too soon and although I'm exhausted, I find myself awake by 8:00am. I look towards Jane who appears to be sleeping comfortably; nothing to indicate that he might have moved during the night. I realize that I'm still dressed in scrubs as Jane is to be kept under isolation and observation, but as I'm getting up, I realize that one of my fingers is buried under Jane's palm, and one of his fingers has curled up against my finger!

There's a sudden moment of joy as I realize that there has indeed been some change during the night! I also remember the doctor's words that some movements are just a result of the sedation wearing off, but I try to keep my hopes up. He curled one finger and he held on to the one thing that he could grasp - my finger, that's good enough for me.

I suddenly feel overprotective about him and feel like giving him a tight hug, but since that's not an option, I settle for kisses. Long kisses and gentle kisses on his forehead and the back of his palm.

I'm in my own world busy showering my love on Jane when I hear someone clearing their throat; ahem, it's the nurse!

"Sorry to disturb you but it's time for 's check-up. Could you please wait outside for some time?"

Thoroughly embarrassed and blushing, I tell her that I'll be outside the room and might make a quick trip to the washroom.

The nurse advises me to discard the surgical scrubs in the trashcan in the adjacent changing room before I can proceed to the washroom.

"Please take your time , you've been here all night. There's a bathroom in your room where you can freshen up. I'll inform someone to bring you a fresh pair of scrubs for use during the day if you wish.

"The lilac ones?" I ask the nurse...

She smiles and says, "For the day shift it is blue, but if you don't feel comfortable in it, there's a small convenience store that we have on the ground floor where you can purchase a basic tracksuit at a nominal cost."

I thank her for the information and leave the room. I realize that I'm ill-equipped to stay at the hospital without proper clothes and that I need to have a plan, because leaving Jane and going home even for a short while will make me feel uncomfortable in spite of the guard posted outside his room.

I sit outside the room and then call up Grace and ask her to pack a bag of essentials for me for the next 3 days at least. I feel the need of a good hot breakfast to help me get fueled up for the day ahead, but I am in no mood to go to the big cafeteria downstairs in these lilac scrubs, so I head over to the pantry on the floor meant for the family members of the patients. To my surprise it is well-stocked with a variety of food items in different vending machines!

I first head to the tea/coffee machine and get myself a latte. Beside the machine there's a tray full of complimentary crackers and cookies. I pick up a pack of crackers. I also pick up a small tray from the pantry counter and proceed to sit down on one of the many colourful chairs in the small but cosy pantry area. There's no one else around in the pantry for which I'm thankful because I'm in no mood to make small talk with anyone.

I finish having the coffee and the crackers and head back to my room which is right next to Jane's room. It's right outside the SICU doors but it is technically the next one to Jane's room and so I reassure myself that I am not too far away from him. I must admit that I feel safe here on this floor. There are a minimal number of visitors in the SICU area and even on the rest of the floor there aren't too many patient relatives hanging around. Before leaving Jane's room I make sure to let the guard know about my whereabouts and that he should call me if required.

In my room, I switch on the TV to distract myself. The news is mundane and I'm almost about to switch off the TV when a name catches the breath in my throat - Patrick Jane. I turn up the volume to hear what's the news about. The news show is talking about Red John and Jane's history, but I wonder why? I continue watching...but what I see makes me feel uneasy.

In Nevada there has been a murder near the High Desert State Prison - the place from which Pete and Luke have escaped. I see Rigsby and Cho in the video and immediately call Cho.

"Cho, what's happening, I've just seen the news?"

"Boss, it's not good news. The men we were looking for, Pete and Luke? Pete has been found murdered and Luke is in the hospital barely hanging on to life."

"What?" My voice is dripping with anger and concern.

"Do we have any other details about this?"

"Yeah."

"Well what is it Cho?"

"The local PD arrived first on the scene and found the word 'JANE' carved on Pete's chest. This looks like Red John boss."

I am shocked but I maintain my composure and tell Cho to not let Luke out of his sight as Luke is the one who holds clues to our investigation. I also tell Cho to not trust any other law enforcement officer and that either he or Rigsby should be in the room with Luke at all times.

"Understood boss. Will keep you updated." Cho hangs up and I sit there numb in front of the TV thinking about Jane...

Just then my phone rings, it's Grace. I ask her to come upstairs to my room so that I can have a private conversation with her. The hospital staff knows about us and the case and thus they have no objection with Grace coming up to the room that has been allocated to me.

Grace has heard about the news too and she too is worried about Jane. We discuss how to improve the security as we know about the Blake association. The escape from the prison and Pete's subsequent murder has only proved what we were afraid of; someone on the inside of law enforcement has a hand in all this, so whom do we trust?

As we sit pondering about these situations, we hear a knock on the door. It's Nurse Sandra and she has a smile on her face.

"Good news Agent Lisbon, the treatment seems to be working. The fever has reduced and we are going to decrease the sedation a little more. The doctor has requested you to come to the room during the procedure."

I can't believe what I am hearing and I get up and go give Nurse Sandra a tight hug.

"Thank you Nurse Sandra, this is the news I've been waiting to hear!"

" Would it be okay if Agent Van Pelt accompanies me? She would like to see Jane too."

"I don't think that should be a problem. Give me a few minutes while I confirm this with the doctor and get back to you." With this the nurse leaves the room and Grace and I look at each other with happy tears in our eyes.

Nurse Sandra returns a few minutes later and confirms that it would be okay if the both of us wanted to be in Jane's room during the procedure. She reminds us to put on the scrubs before we enter his room.

Putting on the scrubs is a new experience for Grace and she seems a little uncomfortable, but I handhold her and try to get her relaxed before we enter the room. As the team leader I understand how important it is for me to be a source of support during tough times. We are all grieving, but Grace is our newest member in the team and even though she has been with us for more than 6 months, lending support wherever required is a part of my job and I take pride in that.

I've been in and out of Jane's room more times than I count, so I think my sore eyes have gotten used to the sight of the injured man on the bed in front of me, but not Grace. She had seen him for just a few moments after his surgery, so I make sure I mentally prepare her before we walk inside Jane's room.

We have worn the full set of scrubs and we know we look ridiculous and if Jane were awake right now, he would have teased us about it; that thought makes me smile a little.

"Okay Grace, push the door. I'm right behind you."

She does, and when she sees Jane like that she bursts into tears. I understand her reaction and offer the sole chair in the room for her to sit down; the one on which I was seated a few hours ago and I quietly stand next to her rubbing her back in an attempt to soothe her. The doctor and the nurse are standing on the opposite side of the bed. They give us a few moments to settle down.

The doctor and nurse Sandra brief us about Jane's current condition and proceed to start lowering the sedation.

"Agents, you should be prepared for the possibility that in a few hours or so we expect to open his eyes as a result of the reduction in sedation. He will still be very groggy as a result of the medications but this time he will be able to open his eyes. We don't expect him to be in pain as he is still receiving the medication via IV as well as the topical solutions, but he might slowly become aware of the ventilator down his windpipe. This usually is a scary experience for patients but we request you to not panic. Someone from the nursing staff will be there in the room with you whenever this happens."

"I don't want to scare you, just wish to let you know how things might progress from here on. Also I'm sorry, but only one of you can remain with him in the room. We have already relaxed the visiting hours for him as this is a special case. The room right outside the SICU has been allocated to your team. Please feel free to use it as much as you need it. I'll be in my office should you need me."

"Thank you so much , it's very kind of you. Please allow us 5 minutes with him."

"Sure, take 10, but then one of you must leave the room as it's the hospital policy."

"Yes, we understand doctor."

The doctor leaves and I see that Grace has calmed down a bit. We look at each other with a renewed sense of hope and then look towards Jane who is still comfortably sedated. These moments of silence continue and then I decide to finally speak up.

"Jane, look who's here!" I encourage Grace to hold his palm and talk to him.

"Hi Jane, it's me Grace. I want you to get well soon and come back to the CBI soon. Rigsby misses you and so does Cho. Take care champ."

Grace barely says what she wants to say and bursts into tears again. Poor Grace, the baby of our team. I hold her hand tightly and tell her that he's going to make it and that we have to be strong for him. She nods and agrees. I ask her to go to the room given to us by the hospital and relax there for some time. I tell her I'll be back there in a few moments and then we can talk some more. She dutifully goes back and I'm once again alone with Jane...


End file.
